On the Lord's voice on the road to Damascus

”My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?”

”Saul, Saul, why dost thou persecute Me?”

I grew up thinking that the Lord's voice when addressing Saul was at least slightly menacing; as if He was meaning to frighten Saul - to teach him a lesson. But now I like to imagine that there was an overwhelming, earth-shattering sadness in His words. He loved. 

The Innocence Mission - Snow

The winter when snowflakes, mine
danced to her music,
God-sister and voice.

New like the snow, she sang,
and I was the snow on an armchair,
and in unseen arms I was hidden and known.
To see him, to see him
happy.

Oh, when snow was dancing to her music,
and I was dancing to His snow,
when He began to fill every space.
Me without words,
Him with all.
Time taking me far,
to see Him, to see Him,
happy.

Written on January 26 in my living room. White in the air. Thank You, Lord, for Karen Peris.

Song by the window

Why does the sun set so far, Lord?
Why does the sun set so far when my head is so near?
When Your words and Your wind are so close,
why is Your sunset so far, so far,
and me here?

Song on the bench

Every day He will be wonderful
and He will be wonderful every summer night,
while street lamps will clothe leaves in gold;

Every hour He will be
in the smell of newly-mown grass,
in crickets and waters and silence.
In lonely bikes ringing
and in stars.

O good my Lord, how could the day not come
when sky will know exactly why it's blue,
when every single leaf will be, will be
engraved in the palm of Your hands
as if the only one?

The dilemma of the Proud

"How do I forget how great I really am, how superior to those around me, so I may be able to act as if I was not the great person I am? For unless I found a way to forget, my humility would be mere pretense. I honestly think I am superior. God, can You make me forget this uncomfortable truth? Because my problem is that I cannot pretend. See how honest I am!"